Disappointment and Discouragement

A recent report show that there are more pastors who get fed up, discouraged, disappointed and leave the ministry than those who have to leave ecause of some gross sin. Christians cannot afford to take disappointment and discouragement too lightly because these are the little foxes that spoil the vine, the little germs that are unseen by the naked eyes, that eat away and eventually destroy the whole body - even the Body of Christ. They must be attended to overcome.

Disappointment is so common that it happens to everybody in any given length of time. But Satan uses this to war against pastors and other servants of God. Disappointment is the forerunner of discouragement. Every man who attempts great things for God and sees little progress can be overtaken by disappointment. If from disappointment, he yields to discouragement he can become a quitter. Someone said, "Blessed is the man who expects nothing for he shall never be disappointed." I think he was rather presumptuous. Such a man is a disappointment already. He is a disappointment to God, His Maker, to his mother who bore him, and also to himself for not making some mark or impact in society.

Disappointment can be stepping-store to success and progress, or it can be a step in regression and failure. A boy can dream of getting a bicycle for Christmas and be disappointed if it does not materialize. There is a way out for him. He can save enough from his pocket money to buy one. This will teach him to earn his way through life. Giving everything to a child to avoid disappointment is to train that child for a life of getting. He will never learn the lesson that it is better to give than to receive.

A student sets his sights on high marks. He did not make the grade he wanted to. He can either quit or use that disappointment to press through, apply himself more diligently, and rise to success.

Similarly, as a servant of God, the pastor should not succumb to disappointment. He should work more diligently than he did before. He should study God's Word more diligently, pray harder, plan more thoroughly, get help and learn from other pastors and share his problems with senior members of his congregation. Apply himself more enthusiastically and he will eventually, successfully reach his goal.

Disappointment should not be allowed to mature into discouragement

Elijah was disappointed and so God encouraged him. When he got discouraged, God rejected him and sent him on his way to anoint his successor. Disappointment is normal, but if you dispair it is abnormal. Only those who set goals, who try and fail, get disappointed. It is those who despair, who stop trying and fail.

I believe the old motto, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" has stood for good for all men. It is the constantly disappointed yet constantly persistent that break the records. You see this in all Olympic Games; you see this in the man who conquered the English Channel; you see this in the "spider-man" who climbed the tallest buildings in the world unaided. It is the mountain climbers that are disappointed at failures, but who persist and reach the top of Mount Everest.

Paul's disappointments became appointment

"Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia. After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them. So passing by Mysia, they come down to Troas. And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, 'Come over to Macedonia and help us.' Now after he had see the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them" (Acts 16:6 - 10, NKJV).

Paul wanted to make a great thrust into Asia Minor, but the Spirit forbade him to go. It was a great disappointment for he saw the potential of a great and quick thrust of the gospel. Paul didn't pout and say, "I'm willing to make the sacrifice, pay the price, for the glory of God, but, okay, Holy Spirit, if you don't want me to go, I'll go home and do something else."

Paul used his disappointment for another attempt - to Bithynia, a small province near the Black Sea and Russia. But again the Holy Spirit said, "No." But Paul was not a quitter. He allowed his disappointments to turn into appointments (with God).

As he yielded to the Holy Spirit who sent him to Troas, a vision was given to him. From there the doors were opened to him to journey to Macedonia (together with Corinth and Athens, the ancient Greek states). That was the place he was called to preach the gospel.

Dealing with disappointments

Do not stop and refuse to go on at the first disappointment. You could be withholding your talents from an area where the Holy Spiri can make you more effectively. Stubbornness has no virtue out of the will of God. God can turn your disappointment to appointment.

On the other hand, some disappointments in the will of God need not be disastrous. Even Jesus faced disappointments. Here are some examples;

1. Jesus was disappointed when the Jews refused to come to Him - "But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life" (john 5:40).

2. Jesus was disappointed when Philip asked Him to show him the Father - "Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me" (John 14:9)?

3. Jesus was disappointed at the Garden of Gethsemane, when His disciples fell asleep while He prayed - "What? Could you not watch with Me for one hour" (Matt. 26:40)?

If you face disappointment, shattered dreams and hope, stand on the rubble, it will give you an ability to stand higher, and reach for bigger things. You may weep alone standing on that pile, but those tears will only clear your vision to see beyond today. Scratch that frosty window pane to see clearly beyond your confinement. It may even break to make your vision clearer.

Disappointments are like clouds that have "come to pass" - it may seem like those clouds have set in to stay, but they always pass. It is in the darkest night that the stars are the brightest.

Don't let disappointments blind you to God's alternatives. The breakthrough is ahead. The goal will be reached if you have one. Your ship will come in if you have launched one. Don't get mired down in despair in the midst of disappointment. Job's farm, cattle and crops may be lost, the family may have gone and he might have been disappointed, yet he came out victorious. Similarly, your loved ones may turn against you, your business may have gone sour or bunkrupt, but don't turn sour on God. He is not responsible for it, but the Devil is! God is responsible to get you out, and He will. Let Him give you a new start to make up for the failures of the past.

You have the help of the Holy Spirit to bring you out of disappointement. Don't struggle to make it on your own. The life guard can rescue you from drowing much easier if you stop panicking and struggling. Yield to the Holy Spirit and let Him lead you out.

Importance of self forgiveness

As a Christian you are forgiven. But to know that you are forgiven is one thing, and to forgive yourself is another thing. Let us look at the case of Paul. In his disappointements he could have reasoned, "God is rejecting me because I persecuted and killed believers. Families are separated, women are widows, and children are orphans because I had men killed. That is why God is rejecting me."

Paul did not reason that way because he knew that if he was forgiven the past is past. Paul had to claim forgiveness, forget the past, and press for the future:

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehanded; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:13, 14).

We must do likwise. We may carry the marks to let us remember the pit from whence we have come. As we repent, He will forvive us and the Holy Spirit will minister to us.

Your past can be therapeutic guilt or neurotic guilt like what what David went through after he sinned against God with Bathsheba. He repented and wrote a beautiful psalm:

"For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin I always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight - that You may be found just when You speak, and blameless when You judge" (Ps. 51:3, 4).

David did not allow that guilt to destroy him. He confessed, repented and fasted and then washed himself and went on to be the anointed servant of God. His guilt brought remorse, confession, repentance, reconciliation, and a commission to greater usefulness in the kingdom of Israel.

You may be disappointed in yourself, in your own failure or that of others. Whatever it is, don't dwell there. If others have failed, go to them and talk it over. Don't let the tentacles of a cancerous disappointment destroy your life. The best way to neutralize your enemy is to forgive and live him. We love our enemies and pray for them that they might find the love of Christ.


Discouragememt - road to disaster

I have already mentioned that if we don't handle disappointments effectively, they will develop into discouragement. Discouragement, unless arrested, will result in disaster. Discouragement can grip a nation as easily as it can an individual. Discouraged people will take drastic action. whenever you find discouraged people in a nation, revolution will follow.


A pastor must never allow discouragement to set into the ranks of his congregation. That is why he must not get discouraged or he will spread the spirit of discouragement as an infectious disease among the people in the Local Church. Because these people are Christians, they are taught not to strive or fight those in authority over them. And so they become frustrated and suffer silently. If they understand that there is no such thing as a perfect Church or perfect pastors they will not run and abandon ship, but stay put, and pray the situation through. It is not, however, the responsibility of the sheep to change the shepherd. The owner of the sheepfold will change the shepherd if the lambs are being devoured or straying away. If there are no lambs being born and the sheepfold is diminishing, drastic measures are in view.


When a pastor is discouraged and see no future for the success, growth and maturity of the flock, he should at least humble himself and pray and seek the Lord for direction. Perhaps the Lord would heal his discouragement and open doors for him to pastor another Local Church.


Unfortunately, some self-righteous pastors would consider that a defeat, and become more determined than ever to stick it out. So they go into the pulpit, lash out at the people instead of loving them, condemn them for lack of co-operation instead of encouraging them with a God-given vision. If only the floundering, visionless, discouraged, whining pastor would realize that the state and condition of the Church reflects his own vision, commitment and works. The sooner he will face himself, correct his own life and works, the sooner he will see a change in the congregation.


Art of encouraging oneself in the Lord


Pastors and other men of God must realize that they cannot look to people, to the arm of flesh for encouragement during crisis times. Leadership can be a very lonesome position if one does not maintain a close relationship with God. Moses, Jesus, Paul and David (just to name a few) - all of them have cultivated the art of encouraging themselves in the Lord.


David encouraged himself


A good example of encouraging oneself in the Lord is found in 1 Samuel chapter 30. David and his men were away on a mission. While they were away, the Amalakites invaded David's camp at Ziklag and carried away their wives, children and possessions. Discovering this disaster, the men turned against David which caused him to be greatly distressed:


"And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters; but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God" (1 Sam. 30:6, KJV, emphasis added).


Psalm 42 give us some insight of how he did this remarkable thing. He had a good talk to his discouraged soul:


"Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God" (Ps 42:11).


The Spirit of God within him was not going to let the soul remain discouraged. After being strengthened David consulted God and He gave him a battle plan. The Amalakites were defeated and destroyed and David and his men retrived their loved ones and their possessions.


One man who encouraged himself in the Lord turned a disaster into victorious celebration. That is true leadership. This is a great lesson for pastors and all leaders in the Church of Jesus Christ. God need leaders who wait upon the Lord and obedient to Him - These leaders "Shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31).